Between the time Adam Tensta left the sofa on TV4’s morning show a year ago and today, there has been a serious, more palpable than ever lift in black people in Sweden.
It’s the morning of February 15th. A dreary and cold Monday morning. I have a driving lesson before work and, as I always do, I turn my phone to silent for the 2 hours. I’m not expecting my phone to be on blast but for safety reasons, and to not get distracted, I think it best not to hear it buzzing/ringing.
By the time I’m done, I check my phone and I have two missed phone calls and about 86734836458 messages on Facebook and SMS combined. At this point, I’m thinking ‘WHAT THE FUDGE HAS HAPPENED’?
At first, I think someone had died (call me an African, always assuming the worse), so I call my friend that I’d missed calls from and she’s asking if I have read the messages, which I clearly haven’t. While on the phone with her, I go in to one of the messages with 100 people or so, and start thinking…what secret society group is this and why is EVERYONE so STOKED and using all the happy/hand emojis available? I scroll all the way up and there it is…‘THE message’…a video with Seinabo Sey speaking. I’m thinking, ‘SHIT ARE WE FRIENDS?’ (lol). She’s asking if we want to partake on stage with her for her performance for the Swedish Grammy Awards. Instantly, I thought HELL YES! My friend (still on the phone) and me are about to get ‘turnt’ up at 10am this Monday morning!
If we rewind back two weeks earlier: Seinabo has put the Swedish fashion magazines on blast on her Instagram, notifying them that #ourbeautydeservescover. Browsing through a magazine of any kind in Sweden, we rarely see black people. She went as far as asking them to check the colleague next to them, what diversity they had in their offices. Most of them responded with ‘half-ass’ excuses.
Fast forward: The requirements for standing on stage with Seinabo is simple. If you fit the description of a black female and could take some time off from work/school then you could join. Losing some days at work will be worth every single second.
I email the person responsible for the performance and she sends the follow-up requirements. There are two rehearsals, one the day before, and the second the day of the awards ceremony. When we first arrive, everyone is above and beyond stoked; you can tell this is going to be big. At this point, I start having second thoughts, however my friends convince me not to leave. Truth be told, I’m having second thoughts because I feel old. I don’t know if this was the right thing for me to do. I am forever thankful for my friends convincing me to stay! Once everyone is settled in, I realize this mix is fantastic! Here we are, 130 black women and children all gathered for the power of all of us; from old to young, dark to light, all shapes and sizes. Exactly what we all look like! No compromising! We are assigned numbers that will lead to the position we have on stage.
We rehearse for about two hours the first day. Awards day, we practice some more; mostly to nail the steps to the beat and to make sure we are not looking into any cameras nor smiling: the ‘don’t fuck with us’ type of attitude. At some point during the second day, Seinabo comes in and gives her humblest thanks for everyone’s attendances. Little does she and I know we would be the ones thanking her for giving us this moment!
When it’s time for Seinabo to go onstage we were backstage waiting for our cue to march in to the beat of her song ‘Easy’! The 20 minutes we’ve been standing here feels like an eternity. Anxiety and nerves creep up like small ants starting from the toes, moving all the way up to my throat. Then she starts singing. No instrument except her powerful voice. Then the beat starts and we start marching. We march in and hear the applause and I catch a glimpse of people in the audience standing up, already giving their standing ovations.
It is an indescribable feeling. We’d practiced on stage twice already but this is different. Some of us enter from the stage while the rest come from the back. We surround the whole theater! The beat segues to ‘Hard Times’ and everyone is in position, staring straight ahead, not a single twitch. I have to admit, it is incredibly hard not to want to turn my head and see what we all actually look like. And then, she starts singing ‘Hard Times’. It is like she sang all our pain at the same time and the audience got it! The pain and burden of being a black woman in a white society. A society that never acknowledges us, never have or had the intention to. She gives us the possibility to demand space and take room!
At the bridge of the song we all hold hands, and again the applause takes over. The woman next to me and I squeeze each other’s hand several times, as if to say ‘DAMN THIS IS HUGE!’ No words needed!
When the song finishes we walk out keeping the happiness bottled up until we reach our room (a conference room) and as soon as everyone step foot in the room, we started laughing, crying, talking on top of each other, letting out all sorts of emotions! One of the women gets on stage in the conference room and expresses her gratitude and empowerment in tears! We all know exactly what she’s saying. Seinabo’s little sister declares the same thing, stating she is from a small city where she never sees any black women and that this is for all those black girls that are not surrounded by black women.
Never have I been more proud to be a black woman than I have today. It might of course have to do with age, acceptance and loving myself unconditionally regardless of what media tells me. Seinabo gave me the chance to forgive myself and not compromise who I am. It has been a work in progress for the past three years, however she gave me the chance to come out and show, not a new self, but an improved unapologetic self!
What Adam and Seinabo are doing will affect the younger generation positively, who I think are far bolder and brighter than we the older generation are!
To sum it up perfectly; “When black women stand up, earthshaking things can occur.” – Angela Davis
